Mammy Time: time for you

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I am putting the case forward for parents to cut themselves some slack when it comes to a night away from home. Chocolate features strongly. Naturally.

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Pralines please.

Mams need to get away occasionally. Why? They love their family. Home. Children. Why leave for personal reasons? Are we selfish? Or are we ultra tough on ourselves? Why would we put ourselves through the going away guilt? Is it worth it…bitmoji-20171124041604

I have put myself through a mental torment for one night away. I don’t know why! I have had lots of time with my friends since my girls were born. I have been to London, Boston and Prague for crying out loud! It doesn’t matter though. The feeling that you are abandoning your precious ones will always stick compass points in your conscience regardless of this.

Having said all that, I am packed and ready to go. It is much needed. I am writing to tell you that you are entitled to this. So parents- here are the reasons we should fight the guilt, get time out alongside a few tips of what to do when you get there. If you need them!bitmoji-20171124091019

1. The Initial Meet Up Chat. 

The Getting on the Road Buzz is nearly as good as the trip itself. Make a plan. Ensure you don’t dawdle too much. Time to get going. The sooner you are on the way the easier leaving is. The chat will cheer you up immediately. Friendship banter is therapy.bitmoji-20171121122506

2. Choose your Getaway Companions wisely. 

If you are an exhausted Mama, you need to make sure the people you are travelling with are on your wavelength. They don’t have to be parents themselves, they just have to be people you can be most comfortable with. You should know if this trip is about partying, spas, sun loungers, sport or shopathons. Walk into the getaway with knowledge. Be armed. No point heading away for a weekend of hiking if you have no love for it! Luckily I get away with my friends a few times per year and we know each other inside out. We know how it rolls. We like much the same thing. A little bit of everything. Food. Talk. Naps. Shopping. In any order. Maybe a little drinkie- but not too much. These are the people I enjoy being with. Maybe you like the active break or an all-night booze up- for me it is all about rest. bitmoji-20171121124250

3. A Little Bit of Retail Therapy.

I know I mentioned that too much shopping might be more tiring than relaxing. A little browse and buy is a totally different ball game though! I suggest pyjamas and chocolate. For YOU! This is exactly what I bought. Nine euros for fleece pyjamas and a few extra euros for posh truffles. Indulgence.

4. A Yummy Dinner. 

My friends are definitely food lovers. We are all about the restaurant. It is important to make good choices! Good meaning delicious. 20171118_204409One friend, who loves dessert, always makes the wrong choice- a brownie that is dry or a mousse that is too dense. We choose for her. This can be fatalistic fun. It is always a good talking point however!

5. Cocktail anyone?

I am not the seasoned party animal of my twenties. This does not mean I turn my nose up at a glass of pink bubbles. A cold Corona with lime. A Prosecco cocktail. A couple of shots, throwback in more ways than one! Butterball. Remember those, Celtic Tiger? A few well chosen drinks to enjoy rather than a large quantity to over indulge in.

6. Belly Laughs. 

I really hope that you readers out there have people that you can truly laugh with. Let rip with. Chuckles. Giggles. Howls of rapture. This will help your mental state or reduce anxiety levels far quicker and less cheaper than the therapist couch.bitmoji-20171124041948

7. Call it a Night while you still have a Night.

The difference between this night out and the one in your twenties is knowing when to go to bed. You need to enjoy the hotel and not stay awake half the night yacking! Enjoy being in a bed that you didn’t launder, make or have to make yourself. Bliss. So next…bitmoji-20171124042243

8. Lie In and Laze at a Classy Hotel.

You need a comfortable bed on a night away. Make sure that you and your friends have chosen wisely. Review check the hotel first! Don’t settle! 20171118_184634We picked the Crowne Plaza in Blanchardstown. I was so impressed by the interior design in this hotel. I appreciated every thoughtful detail. Butterflies, Venetian masks and even an ornate, oversized birdcage adorned the purple and silver walls.

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Bubble and Squeak

The hotel is located in the centre of a shoppers’ paradise. Perfect for this sort of weekend. We slept well. Good room! Seeing as I don’t get a full night often this is a big deal. Mammies need the sleep so they will have energy for parenting so I am fighting the guilt. You should too!

9. Don’t Worry about Home.  

This is hard. You are so immersed in home life that sometimes you feel as if it must stop if you are not present. How can you be replaced? Who knows what you do? Who can do what you do? I have learned that children will turn to their next carer naturally. They will have more attention, minding and treats than ever. In short, we need to give ourselves a break. The kiddies are in good hands or you wouldn’t have left them. bitmoji-20171121054003

10. Appreciate the Time.

You will be on mop duty again soon enough. You may feel horribly guilty but you need to work on leaving that feeling at the doorway. Being away is good for your mind. A healthy mind makes a happy parent. Hopefully that leads to having happy children. Having some cake with your besties doesn’t make you a bad parent. You deserve it.

11. Oh you know me so well. Time for Treats.

Finally, eat some more chocolate! Don’t forget to do that. You can have celery on Monday. 20171118_154816

Have a lovely time out. You will be a better parent for it.

Think of those cuddles that are waiting your homecoming xAnnual Bloggers Bash Awards Nominee Best Parenting BlogScreen-Shot-2018-11-29-at-9.27.12-PM

The Pramshed

 

50 thoughts on “Mammy Time: time for you”

  2. I can’t speak from experience, only family and friends, and most do need a break. Looked like you had fun, which is all important to acknowledge yourself as a woman, friend etc. as well as a Mammy. Lovely post-Orla 🙂

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  3. Utterly agree. This is compulsory for anyone with kids. You’ve got to have respite to restore or hang on to your sanity. For me a group of old mates- we all went to school together- go across to Melbourne for a weekend of football, pubs, lunches and laughter. I love it. And my wife has the same type of regular escape. I don’t know how folks survive with out it!

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  7. This is a lovely list. I think the belly laugh is one of the most therapeutic things we can do as human beings, and you’re right, it requires companions who are on your wavelength to really let go. I wish guilt wasn’t something so many parents have to fight. In a way, time away is an investment in your children. Missing them, is as much a part of loving them as being within arm’s length. I’m glad you venture out! It makes such a difference, I think!

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  9. I miss my boys so much when I travel without them, but at the same time if I never took the occasional time for myself I’d never get my “welcome home” hand drawn banner. I like to think the time apart makes us all appreciate each other more.

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  11. It’s true that parents need some well deserved rest ! My parents used to travel a lot before having my siblings and I, but they didn’t stop because of us. Fortunately my grand parents loved having babies at home ! Everyone needs time for themselves, it’s just human 😊

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  12. I am SO terrible at getting away. And, for the most part – I don’t want to. Maybe I’m crazy. Am I? I have no idea. I think it’s been 3-4 years since I’ve taken a trip without my kids. Ugh… I need to call my friends. Ha!

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      1. Well, that is a wonderful compliment, Orla. Thank you! And, you may be onto something. Although, I do love exploring other places. I think my main problem is that I love my kids to explore them with me. I guess I’m stuck. 😉

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  19. There is nothing wrong with wanting a night away, and try not to feel guilty about it. Just remember all the long sleepless nights you’ve had and how much you deserve just one night off. These are some great ideas here for what to do. Thanks so much for linking up at #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire x

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  21. Pingback: Three Years A Blogging | fancypaper

  22. A perfect post to share, as many Mothers forget to make me time. From an ole fossil (as my son refers to me, affectionately) and old hand at parenting (back in the 80’s when me time was not invented) I would have a vacation with a book in the bath, and some chocs next my feet and a face mask. While a friend or sister watched and tucked in the kids. Even that, left me refreshed and ready to start again. So if you can nit find the £,€,$, you must find a way … like I did. Great post x.

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    1. My own mother still does not feel she should have me time – she really needs encouraging to go somewhere for relaxation. My grandmother on the other hand worked very hard all her life too but evenings were all about downtime- cards, tea chat. I think the generation of the 80s had a harder time because all the technology was coming but the isolation from community as a result affected them thoroughly.

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