Why is everyone crying?
This is the question that I have found myself saying more often than not recently.
Out loud occasionally but to no listeners.
There have been quite a few occasions in the last while where I have been quite ready to tear my overheated, clammy, uncomfortable skin off. Our smallest girl is very unsettled and has cried a lot, sometimes for up to four hours. It means she is stressed, we are pained watching her pain, we get no evening time and in the morning (Betsy awakening at normal time and seemingly unaffected by last night’s high jinks), we are zombies.
Could it be the heat? We have had days and days (really!!) of temperatures as high as 26°. This is miraculous in our world. She might not like it despite wearing light clothes and being well protected etc. I am not great with humidity either. It is our pale skinned, dark haired, freckled of face origin. We are not sun friends. It could be uncomfortable for her too. She can’t tell me.
It could be food. She might be ready for another day time feed, we thought. We have therefore added a feed so now she is on three meals per day with bottles. We hope.
It could be food intolerances. I have followed a structured ‘three day for a new food’ structure to rule out digestion problems but I always thought she didn’t digest her bottled food easily anyway. I went to the doctor on numerous occasions and am on a waiting list for a specialist in the hospital. We should see the doctor before Betsy turns thirteen. The list is ridiculously long. Sarcasm is required here. I mean at that stage I really hope she can tell me, ‘Mammy milk makes me sick’ or whatever. I feel just helpless. In fact helpless doesn’t quite cover it.
Teeth. Of course. We all think that is the problem and I reckon it is. Try being confident you can ascertain the cause in the middle of a crying blast though. Hours of discontented baby can make you question your own name. Medicines, teething gels, amber beads, teethers, cool wash towels and prayers aren’t helping.
She is now difficult to put down for naps. I find it very tough. Rocking in her chair is the only certainty and that is not a good thing to do.
Mothers. We are hard on ourselves, aren’t we?
Gigi is trying to help with soothers and toys. She has been great, yet as a normal two year old she bangs her head, trips up, gets frustrated and then she might cry. Weird things upset toddlers. Today pineapple chunks made her extremely upset. It took a while (and hysteria) to make me realise it was because they weren’t just apple.
On the occasions when both smallies are crying, devastated and upset, I think I cannot cope. I stand there bewildered and desperate, and ask, ‘Why is everyone crying?’.
I have energy at the start of the bouts but by the time they end I need to lie down.
In a cupboard preferably. A silent one.
Naturally I never lie down.
Have you heard people refer to babies as ‘good’or ‘cross’? Those phrases make my blood boil.
My little sweetie is friendly and smiling. She is sociable. She loves people.
She is just having it tough and us along with her.
Two front teeth? A top row to complement the bottom?
Whenever you are ready guys, we are waiting. Little choppers, stop giving my baby such a tough time. Fairy of teeth I am willing to testify anywhere out loud and defiantly that I do believe in fairies but please use your influence to help Betsy’s little teeth break through.
We promise to return them in a few years.
In the meantime. Betsy is crying. Not all the time, but when she is, it is shrill enough for us to know she has pain. We are on edge. I want to cry, but find I am best at holding tears in when they are most required and let them flow to an emotive song, film or montage instead (Up take a bow). Today I read Harriet Evans’ very touching Butterfly Summer for five minutes in a carpark while Gigi slept and I nearly lost it totally.
Responsibility as a Mammy made me put the tear inducing book away. I am sure Mr Paper wants to cry. The dogs are howling. Gigi is crying when it all goes wrong.
We are smiling when we can. Tough cookies. We will get through but in the meantime it is heavy weather. Both types.
If you are in the same boat, or related slightly, please know I am thinking of you and all the others out there who think they can’t do it. It is that word ‘cope’ again. It does rhyme with hope. Is that something?
We just have to see that we are doing it and we have to know that it will get better.