The babies have been trying to kill us again.
I don’t know why fully.
Both of them…?
It is going to bed that has featured as a problem. Gigi’s bad tummy of late is still giving problems. She sleeps at bedtime. Then she awakens. There are pains I think. Sometimes she has a sick stomach. We change nappies. Pyjamas. Whatever we can do to make her feel ease. Going to sleep again is what she seems to want to do, but she twists and turns. Sleep seems to come at nine pm when usually she is down by seven.
I know it is only a few hours.
It is the discomfort. I can’t bear it for her .
Betsy seems to have a little problem of her own.
Teeth? It is possible.
A version of the same bug? Likely.
She goes to bed and then is unsettled. Rocking and cuddling ensues when necessary and she spits up. She is very awake by then and it is a whole new round of ‘going to bed’ before she is settled again.
Mr Paper comes in from the farm and I am going from child to child, ripping my hair out. Feeling useless.
Betsy can wake in the night.
Gigi is waking screaming.
Gigi goes back to sleep.
Betsy goes back to sleep.
I twist and turn.
I sweat and worry.
I am exhausted.
I get some sleep. It is the sleeping with one ear constantly twitching for some noise that dilutes sleep quality.
All Mammies know what I mean.
Today I am in hospital for a small procedure related to post baby birthing issues. They need to give me an anaesthetic.
It is not normal to look forward to anaesthesia.
I need the rest.