Marilyn Monroe. A cliché for blonde, curvaceously sexy beauty, a breathy singing voice and a tingly sugarplum laugh. Think blonde Betty Boop. This is where I will start.

I teach English for a living. The end of my maternity leave with baby Betsy is looming ever so more closely and my mind is trying, trying (struggling, struggling) to return to the classroom. Exams are on the horizon. I will return just in time for mass panic and revision. Some will be revising for the first time. I will be asked what it was I was ‘on about before’ at the start of the year previous to when I left, which didn’t seem relevant then but suddenly it does. ..

Must inspire. Use them words gooder please class. Something not quite right about that…

So. One element that I will upon which I will revise, advise and ultimately despair will be…